Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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