I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
