we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
