atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
