Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
