I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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