He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
