I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
