Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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