so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
