I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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