Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
