Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
