oh god the rape fog is back!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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