he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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