Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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