You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
