So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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