David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
