looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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