And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
