PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize