he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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