my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
