I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
3 2 1 whiskey
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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