whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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