i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize