Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He? As in you personified your dick?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
