Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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