I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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