the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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