Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
