Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
