that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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