i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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