Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You did what with his pubic hair?
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