I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
