Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
