She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
