i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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