I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
