tell your sister to shave her snatch
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize