My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
