I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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