why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
