It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
