I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i barfeds in our rink
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so let's talk penis.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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