The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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