haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
