ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
