I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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