Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
