I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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