I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
