weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
