you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize